nobody talks about the ways we must learn to be queer
in public
the ways we are disoriented the first time we are surrounded
by ourselves
because up until now
the mirrors around us never reflected our beauty
only our difference
the rush of unnamed emotions through the body
the processing
the realizing
we are not alone
the ways it’s not really about coming out
but more an expanding into self
the ways we have to come out again and again
as we decolonialize our own internalized homophobia
the lack of knowing how to love
a thing you’ve been told is unlovable
even when that thing is you
to demolish and redefine love
reshape and recolour love
until it looks and feels like
something you can call home
something warm and nurturing
and challenging and growth inspiring
something earth shattering
something worth celebrating
something unconditional
something tangible
in the ways the love from those who were supposed to love us
has never been
we must learn to love ourselves in ways we’ve never seen before
we must learn that to be queer is to be magic
in a world that wants you to stop believing past the age of ten
and we must gather
to call out and collect ourselves and each other
to create come-unity
so our legacy will never be erased
celebrating pride month in jamaica has been so eye opening. so full of feeling in ways I’m still fumbling to articulate. we’re only halfway through, and I’m committed to seeing this experience through to the end. anxiety and all. because it really is so beautiful to see us all together. at all the different stages of our awakening. the ones ready to bruk out at any time of day. the ones brave enough to make a new friend. those who just come to bask in the vibes and knowledge that now. here. if only for a few hours. we can be ourselves. we are safe. I have to give thanks to the ones who’ve taken the time to organize, fund, and facilitate these spaces. intrepid, community fest, rebel women lit, q lounge, we change, noname, transwave, jflag, and kindred on the rock, you've been doing the work. and to acknowledge that there was a time none of this was possible. we have far to go. definitely. but we’ve come far too, and that can’t be ignored. to caribbean love, in all shades, colours, and shapes. I may still be figuring out how to express all the parts of me, but I'm proud yuh fuck to be a part of this collective.
happy pride everyone
☽
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